Occupy Wall Street/ The One Percent The Common Denominator: Part One

What you are about to read is the edited version of two interviews that I conducted. One was with an investment banker, a member of the one percent. The other a member of the growing grass roots organization, Occupy Wall Street.

I have(like all news media) have filtered the actual facts out, twisted the truth, lied. told half-truths and made some #@!& - up so that the opinions of this so called fact finding interview reflected the view-points of the author, me.

So, sit back and take a ride

Greed!

OK...OK.. You're probably dying to know how I came to this conclusion. Aren't you? So, ask me. I know you want to ask me.

How can you say that greed is a common denominator between such two different groups of people?

OK, if you really want to know, I suppose I'll fill you in.

It's pretty easy for most of us to see how the one percent are greedy. The bankers, corporate CEO's,Wall Street Investors and anyone else that managed to claw their way to the top of the financial pyramid well....how else could they have gotten there. How else, or what other motivating force could drive a man, or corporation to amass such wealth other than pure greed.

There is no sarcasm in the previous statement, just as I know that there is no starvation, or that I know our government always tells us the truth.

I truly don't see how anyone could get so rich, and keep it without being a ruthless greedy bastard. Now that sounds kind of harsh. Harsh but true. For you supporters of the one percent, don't get your shorts all bundled up yet, I'm going to get back to the Occupy Wall Street dudes here in a second.

OK, back to the greedy bastard thing. It's pretty obvious to anyone with any common sense that what motivated or motivates that special class of people that we refer to as the one percent is greed.

If it isn't obvious, then here are my thoughts on the subject. Actually on second thought rather than me just spouting off my opinions, I'll find one of the one-percent, set up an interview and through my strategic selection of questioning, I'll get into the minds and hearts of the one-percent.

I looked high and low before I found a suitable subject. His name was Phil Mypockets a prominent investment banker.

Since I wasn't on anyone's payroll yet, I could ask some tough questions. To make certain that Phil wasn't going to bail on the interview if I asked questions that we're either embarrassing, too revealing or questions that if he answered truthfully he'd look like the bastard that he really is, I hired some help, some muscle. His name, Sergeant Tick, Sergeant Luna Tick, an ex- CIA investigator.

So now that you have all the background information you're going to need, on to the interview.

Phil, may I call you Phil?

Yes you may Greg.

Why Thank You. Phil, now we're all wondering let's say you've got 100 million dollars...

100 million? I carry that as pocket change Greg! Hah!

OK...we're all real impressed. Now back to the question you've got 100 million in the bank, nice cars, couple of mansions, an airplane, someone to drive you places...you do have a chauffeur don't you?

Oh...Yeah. I do everything I can to help spur the economy.

OK...anyway back to the question...you probably have a maid, someone to clean up after you. So, you probably have a Senator in your pocket making laws that benefit you, make you richer, have tax shelters, off-shore bank accounts, cars, mansions... really everything you ever wanted. Right?

Yes, Greg I suppose you could say I have been very blessed.

So... we're all very curious why do you need more?

Because I feel it is my patriotic duty to create jobs, it's trickle down economics. You know the basic theory, you give me a lot of money and some trickles down. Let me explain it this way Greg, for the ordinary man. Perhaps a metaphor would help explain this complicated economic theory.

Let's say that my assets, worth, income or wealth, however you want to put it is a barrel. Now keep in mind that all barrels have leaks, and this is what makes this theory work. Believe me I wish that I could make a leak proof economic barrel, cause then I'd have it all. We're working on it, we're close and hoping that the trickles become smaller and less frequent.

Anyway, as you can see by my drawing, income comes into my barrel and what leaks out, trickles down to the masses.

I felt it was my duty as an American citizen to get to the truth in this matter. I thought that I should employ the proven truth revealing methods of my CIA interrogator, Mr. Tick. Originally, I was going to provide specific details on the methods used, but it seems they are still in use and are top secret.

After some inquisition style conversations, I began my interview again. Phil seemed a little more receptive to answering the questions the way I wanted them answered.

So what do you do with all that wealth and power, Phil? Invest it in The United States of America? Build businesses, invest and hire in the country that defends the free world and your money from tyranny?

Hell No! I want more!

I want more money I tell you!

I lay off workers, ship the jobs overseas and make more money! Then to stimulate economic growth... I buy a Mercedes, a yacht, buy another mansion, hire another politician, invest in hedge funds and move lots more money off-shore to avoid paying taxes.

Hey...don't thank me, trickle down economics that's for suckers! The only growth I'm trying to stimulate is my own!

Trickle down economics and greed..why it's as American as apple pie, perpetual wars, opportunity, insider trading, hedge-funds, self-stick stamps, hot-dogs, beer, pork-bellies, beer-bellies, couch potatoes, and potholes... I swear I'll give it all back just take the bamboo shoots out from under my finger nails.

Author's note: All tools utilized for torture we're made in America, employing American workers.

Mr. 1%, if you had to get rid of everything you own except for one thing, what would you keep?

Oh that's an easy one. I'd keep the politicians. They're my bread and butter. They protect the money I steal from the poor, provide me with safe tax havens and hey we have lots of great parties, golf tournaments and we keep the oldest profession in the world, the oldest profession in the world.

This concludes part one. Don't worry there is more to come as this is only one of many interviews and stories I plan to do on greed in America. Stay tuned for more discussions with Phil Mypockets, an Occupy Wall Street protester and other's as I explore the greed and corruption that fills our great nation.

I'll be talking some more with Phil Mypockets in the coming weeks and you'll be introduced to our Occupy Wall Street protester.

Have any ideas on whom should be interviewed? Leave a comment and stay tuned for part two, coming soon.