I Feel Lonely and Depressed/What Can I Do?

Loneliness is a deep emotional pain characterized by feelings of emptiness and solitude. Feeling lonely is a normal reaction to inadequate levels of social interaction or it can be a symptom of something more serious-depression.

Loneliness and depression came as one for me. Like two conspirators planning my demise they worked from my teens till my mid to late thirties to destroy my happiness. During this period, everything hurt, I wanted to cry. I needed to talk, I wanted to talk, but I didn't believe anyone wanted to hear about how I hurt.

I was wrong, if I had just asked for help my life would have been much different. But the negativity, the hopelessness and low self-esteem that accompanies depression instead pushed me into isolation. It took years for me to figure out how wrong I was.

Depression darkened my thoughts, nothing had meaning and life seemed hopeless. I wanted to believe there was hope but my thoughts wouldn't let go of the negative and hurtful thoughts about myself no matter how hard I tried.

Over the years, my depression worsened and I withdrew further and further from life, deeper into depression and loneliness each passing year. Until one day I withdrew from life and society completely. I became homeless.

From my experiences with depression and loneliness I learned much. Although medication was necessary for me, it never completely allowed me to achieve a true sense of happiness. It was only through these lifestyle changes and tricks that I achieved true feelings of day to day happiness.

These tips I am sharing with you here. I hope they help you.

I am not a physician..this is merely my opinion. Take everything in this hub as such and realize it is not a substitute for professional help.

Depression causes a disruption of your emotions, feelings and thoughts. Whether the cause of your depression is biology, stress, or trauma there are steps you can take to overcome it. One of the symptoms that accompany depression is loneliness.

As I mentioned previously, I believe the typical symptoms of depression feed each other. Many of the other symptoms feed loneliness making it worse which in turn makes your feelings of loneliness worse which in turn worsens your depression.

When you feel lonely, this feeling is really telling you that you need social interaction. All of us need social interaction, some more than others and this interaction comes in different forms. When you are depressed your thoughts are often overwhelmingly negative. You have low self-esteem, your confidence is low and often these feelings precipitate a withdrawal from the social interaction that you need. This was the case for me.

Although I was given medication that was supposed to cure me and please I don't want to seem ungrateful, I prefer to think of the medications as more of a crutch or a cast of sorts to fix a broken mind or spirit. This distinction is important for me, because although medications helped me to heal. If I hadn't made changes in the way I lived and thought I would have never achieved any sort of happiness.

Here are some of the changes I made to help my depression and loneliness:

• Negative Thinking - Eliminating or reducing negative thoughts is so important to combat loneliness. It may sound way off the base, but often negative thoughts prevents you from participating in social activities. I found keeping a journal one of the best ways to reduce negative thoughts. Keep a record of your negative thoughts and analyze them. Look at the circumstances around your negative thoughts. I had thoughts such as: "They all are talking about me." "Everyone hates me" " I hate myself" They'll never like me" I know I'll say something stupid if I talk." These negative thoughts often prevented me from socializing and interacting with people. Without social interaction we feel lonely. Once I identified the negative thoughts I began thinking of replacements, positive thoughts. Over time and quite slowly the positive thoughts became automatic. Eventually I felt more comfortable around people. It became a positive experience for me, which in turn helped to alleviate my depression and increase my happiness.
• Laugh - Find something that makes you laugh. It releases chemicals that make you feel better about yourself, increasing your confidence and self esteem thereby making social interaction easier and more rewarding.
• Talk To Someone - Tell someone about how you feel. Talk about your depression and loneliness. Talking it out can help make you feel better. Find a support group.
• Take Up a Hobby - This should be something you enjoy. Depression takes away the good feelings you once had for activities. If so try something you once enjoyed. Look for a group or a club or a friend with similar interests. This provides social interaction without some of the pressure that comes with going out to dinner, or something of that nature.
• Get A Pet - Pets are a great health benefit, they help improve your mood and studies have shown they help blood pressure better than medications. Pets offer one thing that people often can't unconditional love. It's great to snuggle with a pet, something that can help overcome that feeling of loneliness. Some studies have shown that pets can stave off loneliness better than people. Pets, especially dogs are great icebreakers to meet people, take your dog for a walk in a dog park and you'll probably have someone start up a conversation.
• Volunteer - Volunteer to help someone, perhaps visit the elderly at a senior citizens home, help the homeless or talk to a shut-in neighbor. Helping others is a great way to get out and meet people, connect with your community. It also helps confidence and improves your social and interpersonal skills. Volunteering also keeps you connected which combats both depression and loneliness.

This is important. You are not alone. We all don't need the same level of social interaction, some level of social interaction to maintain our sanity, and mental well being. Work to make changes to your lifestyle and habits and break free from the downward spiral of depression and loneliness.